Rescue Me From Nurse Venus!
by Valkyrie Celes
Summary: When General Kunzite of Earth has been stricken with the fiercest of all foes: the common cold, who will nurse him back to health? Why his Lady Love Venus, of course. AKA: Some Sil Mil MinaXKunz fluff. R&R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, duh.

A/N: I have been trying to write this fic for months, and had all but decided to scrap it until reading some nice drabbles by the lovely Jet Wolf and Miss Moon Rose. Both very good authors if you'd like to give them a read! Anyway, not sure I am entirely pleased with this, but I will post it nevertheless. My first attempt at a Senshi/Shitenu one-shot after years with my favorite Senshi/Shitenu couple. Hope you enjoy!

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I:I:I:I:I:I:

Unlike on the Moon, seasons would often change on Earth. Some seasons were warmer than others of course, but unfortunately winter had come, and such warmth was far in-between. Such cold would often incapacitate the earthen society with illness. There was one man on the Earth however, who prided himself on never falling prey to such a trivial illness, not once in his life…

But today was one of those days, that fate decided to have a sense of humor. Kunzite, the leader of Prince Endymion's Shitenu, was not pleased.

In fact, he was so displeased that he had decided to ignore the fact that he had this sickness, and go about his normal duties. This course of action however, did not please his Prince.

Once again, Kunzite was not amused with fate's sense of humor.

So here he was: The famed General Kunzite bedridden…and being lectured by his charge. Today was not his day indeed.

"How many times do I need to tell you? Stay here and rest Kunzite."

"It's nothing. I can still be in active duty whilst this ailment is plaguing me my Prince."

"It isn't some sort of magic curse, it's a cold. There's only one cure for that and that's rest."

"I'm fine."

"You're not. Need I order you to stay in bed Kunzite? Because I would rather not."

Prince Endymion of Terra stood in the chambers of his head Shitenu, a look of frustration on his normally calm features. He ran a hand through his raven black hair as he tried to coax his guard into staying in bed after a terrible bout of illness that had been being spread throughout the castle. This was easier said than done, and the duo had been having this discussion for quite a long while

"Nephrite has been doing fine in your stead. A few more days of bed rest won't hurt anyone."

"With all due respect my liege, I am perfectly capable of resuming my duties now. The worst of this illness is gone and—"

"Rest Kunzite. How many times do I have to tell you? R-E-S-T. That's the only way I'm going to leave you alone you know."

The Prince had hit a sore spot with the General: he was quite fond of his privacy, and this constant debate was keeping him from it. Resigning to his Princes wishes, he nodded slowly.

"Very well Endymion. I will rest for a few days more."

"Good."

"Not in bed, however. I am not that weak."

Endymion chuckled.

"Fine by me. As long as you don't over tax yourself, I don't care how you rest. I'll leave you be then."

"Farewell."

With that, the young Prince left his Shitenu's chambers. When he closed the door he ran into something quite peculiar: a young woman hiding from view, possibly…eaves dropping? He narrowed his eyes at the woman as she straightened.

"Is there…a reason why you're hereMiss?" he asked her curtly. "The chambers of the Shitenu and myself are off limits to all of those who are not part of our private servants quarters. Have you lost your way?"

"No my Lord, I know exactly where I'm supposed to be and it's here," she responded playfully. "I'm here to help LordKunzite."

"I…see. Lord Kunzite does not wish to have any visitors while he's ill. I find it hard to believe—"

The young prince was cut off by the woman flashing him a "V" sign with her hands. At that instant, he smiled. She winked in return.

"Actually," he began. "Perhaps Lord Kunzite does need some help. Go right on in."

"Thank you so much milord. I assure you Lord Kunzite will be in good hands."

"Your welcome."

Endymion began to leave before stopping to speak to the woman one last time.

"And Minako?"

"…Yes?"

"Go easy on him."

He left the room. The girl giggled before slipping into the Shitenu's chambers.

I:I:I:I:I:I:

Kunzite heard the door close not once, but twice. He turned to see who the newcomer was, ready to shoo them away. He opened his mouth to speak, when the intruder suddenly revealed themselves in a brilliant swish of her cloak. It clattered to the floor, and before the Shitenu, stood one of the four planetary Princesses. Lady Venus stood in all of her shining glory, her golden hair falling over her shoulders and back in wisps. Her goldenrod gown only complimented her curves and otherwise flawless figure. Without any warning, she launched herself into the mans arms.

"Surprise!" she cried. "Aren't you surprised to see me Kunzite? I bet you are! I came all this way to make sure you were well!"

"How—"

"Oh you," she bristled as she tapped the bottom of his chin. "You should know you can keep nothing from the Goddess of Love! When you didn't come to escort Endymion the past few nights, I began to worry. It took my lovely deduction skills to discover that you had fallen ill!"

The General looked down at her with a stony expression, his mirth only showing in his eyes.

"You got Zoycite to tell you didn't you?" he said flatly.

She giggled and bat at his chest playfully.

"Oh you're no fun! You don't believe that I could have figured it out all on my own?"

"No."

She huffed.

"My Kunzy has such little faith in me…" she curled a strand of his silver hair around her finger. "Fine fine, I got Zoycite to tell me. But it took a lot of wheedling! I find that to be an accomplishment in itself, do you not?"

"Out of all of my men Zoycite would be the easiest to get such private information out of," he replied. "If it were Nephrite or Jadeite, or even the Prince I would be impressed but—"

"I'm here to nurse you back to health!" she interrupted.

This statement, made the General freeze. Not even he could hide the shock on his features as he looked down at the golden bundle in his arms.

"You…what?"

"Lord Zoycite said you were sick, so I am here to nurse you back to health! I've brought everything that I would need, so all you have to do is relax and let me take care of you, alright my love?"

"Mina, I don't think—"

"Hush hush!" she scrambled out of his grasp and took a bundle from the floor. "I, The Senshi of Love and Beauty, shall nurse you back to health!"

"Mina, I'm perfectly fine as I am. Please leave me be."

"You are not! You can't fool me Mister: I see how sick you really are!" she proclaimed pointing a finger at him accusingly. Her eyes grew to the size of two saucers as she began her usual bout of mellow dramatic hysterics.

"I can see it now," she gestured widely with her arms, forgetting her bundle and dropping it to the floor. "You're patrolling the gardens one night. Everything seems fine, you're on your guard but then…AHHH! A pack of wild hyenas stampede through the bushes and you don't have enough strength to stop them! You reach for your sword, but alas coughs rack your body and you are overwhelmed by the hoard of rabid beasts as they slowly eat you alive!" She fell on the floor dramatically, clutching her forehead with her hands. "The next morning all they find is…your cape! And to think all of this would have been prevented if you had only let your beloved Minako tend to your ills! Cruel world!"

"Hyenas aren't even existent in this part of the world Minako."

"What!? But that book I sto—borrowed from Ami said they were!"

"And I highly doubt that—"

"OK maybe it wasn't hyenas, horses? A hoard of kittens! You know a hoard of puppies and kittens would be dangerous to come across if you're sick! Imagine the diseases little kitties could hold! Oh Kunzite you have to let me take care of you, you just have to! For the kitties!"

Kunzite could do nothing but stare at her. _He had heard of Lady Venus' legendary tangents from her fellow Senshi, but had never experienced one himself. In fact, he had never had to handle such an…exuberant woman before in his life. It was what had attracted him to the young woman in the first place, and he was now somewhat regretting that attraction as the young Princess began to sob quietly next to him. He couldn't help but notice, however, that amusement was still apparent in her eyes._

_Kunzite thought back to a conversation he had with one of her sisters about such a situation and sighed resolutely._

"…Alright."

She squealed and jumped back onto his bed, hugging him once more.

"Oh Kunzy! You won't regret it. I promise you'll be all better by the end of today!"

She pecked her love on the cheek then went back to her supplies that were left abandoned on the floor. She flashed her trademark V, along with her trademark smile.

"Have no fear, Nurse Venus is here!"

I:I:I:I:I:I:

Three hours later and the chambers of the Shitenu were no longer recognizable. The usual tidiness of his desk had been over rand with discarded dishes of…oh only the Gods knew what she was trying to make. Some sort of paste? That was vaguely resembling soup. Bandages littered the floor in a heap of knots. Some of them, oddly enough, dangling off of the lower arm of the man who sat rigidly upright in his bed. Mina seemed oblivious to this fact as she bustled around his room with her latest concoction: A mass of pillows she was attempting to fluff.

"Mina, you don't have to do all of them at once—"

"Nonsense! It's faster this way and I want you to get better quickly! Besides how hard can it be to fluff some stupid Earth pillows? It'll just ta—"

She began to hack and wheeze as the pillows exploded into a mass of feathers in her face. They fluttered to the floor seemingly in slow motion, Kunzite thought.

"Help! Help! I'm dying! Call Queen Serenity!" She shouted in-between coughs.

"Please keep your voice down," he replied putting a hand to his temple. The headache that was growing throughout the day was slowly turning into a migraine. Mina gasped.

"Kunzite, what's the matter!? Does your head hurt? Don't worry, I have just the thing!"

She dropped the feathery disaster instantly and went to her pack. She threw out a multitude of things: vegetables, more bandages, some…unmentionables (what) before she found what she was looking for. She jumped up in triumph and glided over to her love.

"Here it is!" she waved a small vile in her hands. "I got it from Ami. She said one drop and it'll stop bodily pain. Since your brain is your body it should work!"

"Mina, stop waving that or it'll fall."

"Shhh, I know what I'm doing. You have to mix this sorta stuff all the time and…oops!"

As Kunzite had predicted, the vile went flying out of her grasp and onto the mess that Kunzite was ashamed to now call his desk. The vile shattered and spilt all over the oak wood, it's smell permeating the air. Mina put her hands over her mouth and gasped.

"Oh…oh no! I'm so sorry: let me clean that up for you!"

"Minako it's perfectly alright—"

"No it isn't! I ruined your nice desk!"

She jumped out of bed and went over to the table. Picking up a cloth, she clumsily sloshed at the liquid, completely forgetting the bowls of "soup" in her way. They went tumbling to the floor with a loud clatter.

"I'm ok I'm ok! I'll clean that too!"

Kunzite suppressed a groan as his Princess got on the floor and wiped at the stained carpet. She sat down there for the longest time, wiping at the exact same spot until...tears? His bubbly, all be it blustering, Minako was in tears? The sound was unmistakable: she was on the floor crying, still wiping at the same spot of floor completely ignoring the rest of the mess she had made of his room. Kunzite swiftly got out of bed and went to her side, engulfing her in his muscular arms.

"What's wrong Minako?" he asked softly. A sniffle was his reply.

"I-I wanted to make you feel better and I only made it worse! I wish I had Ami's nursing skills, she's so graceful and kind when she's helping nurse someone and I can't even fluff one stupid pillow!" she hiccupped.

Kunzite couldn't help but chuckle. It was a low, rich baritone that always made Minako's heart skip a beat. This time was no exception.

The General took her chin in his hand and tilted her head so their eyes met. Kunzite, Minako noted, was smiling one of his truly genuine smiles that he only saved for her.

"If you were an attentive, sensitive nurse…then you wouldn't be my Minako."

"Wh-what? Is that supposed to make me feel better!?"

"You aren't a good nurse. It took me years to keep this room as tidy as it was, and in one afternoon you completely destroyed it."

"We really need to work on your consoling skills, because they're really—"

"But what amazes me," he continued. "Is that no matter how dirty a look you get, no matter how many times you falter, no matter how poorly you do at something…you always try. And you always help the ones you love. You may not be the best nurse Minako, but you're the sweetest, most determined girl I've ever met. That's why I love you so."

All tears forgotten, Minako wrapped her arms around Kunzite's neck and hugged him tightly. She giggled as she snuggled close to him.

"I knew you had a heart in there you rock! And only I, The Senshi of Love and Beauty, could make you feel with your golden heart of hearts!"

"Of course," he didn't let her see him roll his eyes. "Now, why don't you help me get well in a way that only Princess Minako could help me get well."

"Oh?"

I:I:I:I:I:I:

Two lovers lay in the plush bed of General Kunzite. Blond tresses rippled throughout the sheets and blankets, and fell around the general's form. In his arms, he held a nearly dozing Princess.

"Minako?"

"Mmm?" she replied as she cuddled closer to him.

"Thank you for nursing me back to health. I greatly appreciate it."

She stretched and yawned, then got as close to his chest as she could.

"Anytime, Nurse Venus is always…" her voice trailed off as she slowly drifted into sleep.

Kunzite chuckled, then kissed her atop her head.

"I love you, Nurse Venus."


End file.
